Baby in the Rye

I HAVE A FORUM FOR SELF PROMOTION?!?!?

2008-01-02T20:54:00.000-06:00

Ok, my idiot parents neglected to mention this blog to me. Just because my mother, father, and brother are, I don't know, modest DOES NOT mean that I should withhold my fabulousness from the general public. I mean really, what kind of crime would I be committing if I were to deprive all of you fine people of the glory that is me?

So, that being said, HERE I AM! And I suppose I'll allow some input from the rest of the fam...

I'll whet your palate with a few shots of my stylish approach to life:

This is a brief glimpse into my leopard print collection. Thank you Target, my mommy...

....and my Mimi for really throwing herself into the whole leopard-print-bandwagon-thing. Bravo, Mimi, bravo.

And really have you ever been THIS fabulous? It's about time the 'rents realized I needed a sparkly handbag...

Ok, ok, here's my brother. Yeah, ok, he's pretty freakin' cute. Whatever. I'M the only one smart enough to get this blog back up and running. And that title? Um hi, there is more than ONE "baby" in this rye. And my name harkens a modern day jazz singer, not a novel of adolescent angst. I'll have to do something about that.

Ah well...I'm here now---let me know how you feel about that!!!

HJL: A Retrospective (Special Birthday Gnome Installment)

2005-03-12T08:05:00.000-06:00

To momentarily whet your appetite until the birthday pictures are posted (yes, Uncle Scott, it is currently the weekend, and no, Holden is not named for a character in Bladerunner...but thanks for checking in...) : ), I give you a

GNOME UPDATE!!!!

1 YEAR OLD:

ONE AND A HALF GNOMES!!!

To refresh your memory, I include:

2 WEEKS OLD: 2/3 GNOME

7 MONTHS OLD: 1 1/4 GNOME

I'm ambulatory!!!

2005-03-01T20:58:00.000-06:00

Ok, this picture has nothing to do with my latest trick (oh, and excuse the random edible gunk all over my face). But hey, who DOESN'T appreciate a close up of my gigantic noggin?????

Anyhow, to anyone keeping up with this sort of thing: oh yeah baby, I'M WALKING. Have been for a couple of weeks. Took a few steps about 6 weeks ago, but then I had to take some time to refine my method.

I've gotta tell you, walking in public is a good time because
random strangers think (recall my diminutive stature)
that I'm about 6 or 7 months old.
I (and my mother, I must admit) REALLY love messing with their heads.
heh, heh, heh...

American cheese, AGAIN?

2005-02-24T11:30:00.000-06:00

"Really people, where's the foie gras? The braised squab? The caramelized leeks? How do you expect me to refine my palate with such proletarian gruel?"

Look how I've grown (lap edition)!

2005-02-20T15:35:00.000-06:00

On Mommy's lap at 3 months:

On Mommy's lap at 10 months:

(Mommy keeps trying to tell herself that it's a matter of her lap shrinking.

Ah, the power of delusion...)

The Uncle Brigade: Scott

2005-02-14T10:40:00.000-06:00

And finally, I give you:

Uncle Scott(er Botter*)

*nickname he's outgrown with everyone except my mother, it seems...

Ok, Uncle Scott lives in Oakland, so, much like Uncle Sachin, I don't get to see him nearly enough. However, as a Leathers, he comes from a long line of obnoxious histrionic crazies (my mother has been duking out my Grammie for the title of Queen for years now)...thus the more abundant selection of pictures. So here we go:

We met when I was a mere 12 weeks old. But it was immediately a meeting of the minds (note my "Fight the power" stance)

I was so excited to see my uncle again at Christmas, that I drooled all over myself.

We got to enjoy such fun activities as:

Reenacting "Crossfire" transcripts

Sharing a healthy respect for the Leathers Oral Fixation

And just rolling around on the ground like fools.

Can't wait to see you again, Uncle Skizott!!

Attempted Great Escapes

2005-02-09T21:11:00.000-06:00

Polite:

"Excuse me, would someone be so kind as to let me out?"

Forceful:

"Perhaps if I just just shove my head through this netting..."

Athletic:

"Oh damn, I didn't see that wall there."

Sneaky:

"What baby? I don't see a baby. I don't know what you're talking about..."

The Uncle Brigade: Sachin

2005-02-07T16:30:00.000-06:00

Here's my Uncle Sachin and an elbowcentric shot of my Aunt Megan:

He and my "Aunt"-Megan-who's-going-to-become-my-Aunt-Megan-in-August live in Seattle, so my photographic opportunities have been woefully rare.But I'm going to don a tux and my natty best for the big wedding,
so rest assured that quality documentation of me and my Uncle Sach/Aunt Megan will be in abundance come Fall.

In the meantime:

This is when we met. I was a mere 3 months old!

Actually, I was so jazzed to meet them, I slept for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT for the first time (it must have been some sort of voodoo powers or something because I came to and remembered to wake up 10 times a night again after about 3 weeks...)

This was Thanksgiving, so I'm almost 9 months old here. That stunned look on my face is a result of the sudden realization that someone in the world is actually whiter than my mother. Woa.

Well, there you go! More to come of this fabulous branch of my family whenever I get to see them again!!

Back to Basics

2005-02-05T08:44:00.000-06:00

Ok, I've FINALLY managed to eke out a second, so let's just take a moment to remember why we're all here:

CUTE BABY!!!!

Coming this week: The Uncle Brigade continues on!

The Uncle Brigade: David

2005-01-16T21:14:00.000-06:00

Since I get to live in the same city as Uncle David, I get to party with him on a regular basis. As a result, he has the best selection of pictures out of all my uncles. Way to go man. Way to go.

Here he is, the man himself, Uncle (Baby)* David!

*Note: My mommy insists on calling him Baby David, despite the fact that the poor guy is 27 years old. She seems to get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it. Good thing my Uncle is the World's Most Low Key Fellow, or he might have smacked her upside the head by now.

UD was the only blood relative

(other than my parents, obviously)

who met me on the very day I was born!*

*Note: This was taken very shortly before he ran screaming out of the room upon the realization that his sister's boob was going to be unsheathed. It was the beginning of a longstanding pattern...

This is UD and his way-long-term girlfriend, Aunt Dana.

She was ALSO there the day I was born!

And I bet this picture freaks them both out just a little bit. Heh, heh, heh...

This is when I peed on my Uncle. Awesome.

And this is in the Holden Photographic Hall of Fame.

My whole family wigs over this picture.

Whatever people--I was 4 months old,

and you just can't tell me those damn sunglasses aren't fascinating...

Finally, as previously mentioned, Christmas was really friggin' tiring.

And my Uncle David is really friggin' cozy.

I LOVE YOU UNCLE DAVID!!!

Fun game: How many KC Chiefs shirts does Dave actually own?

These pictures seem to give some indication...

MY FIRST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

2005-01-07T22:34:00.000-06:00

Ok, this holiday ROCKS! I had no idea so much paper could be gathered together in JUST ONE PLACE!!! Wow. Will wonders never cease??? Allow me to tell you of my day in pictures*:

The holiday started off not so well...I mean really, what am I supposed to be? A freakin' elf?!?! I swear, the ongoing indignity of it all...

But then...LOOK AT ALL THIS PAPER!!!

And wait, I GET TOYS??? Look at this snazzy one from my Grammie/Mimi (really, Grandmother, pick a name or I shall deem you Maude once I am able to eke out a few words...)

And again: PAPER PAPER PAPER!

THERE ARE BOWS, TOO?!?!?
Wow! It's like Chr...um, wait...

This is exhausting. I need a snuggle break with my Mamaw (my great grandmother).

But you can't keep me from the paper for too long!

I SAID YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM THE PAPER!!

What? My very own genuine Time Warner cable remote from my Daddy? I can't...there aren't...I mean I just...it's so...I'm overwhelmed with emotion...must eat this too...

Ok, no one mentioned that I needed to pace myself. I'll take note for Christmas 2005 (particularly considering the addition of the tryptophan factor this year...woa.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS (about two weeks late...what's a guy to do?)!!

*Note to my uncles: An anonymous uncle (unmask yourself, my man) has applied a little bit of pressure about giving y'all some blog face time. Until now I have been reticent to put family pics out there without permission. But I'm caving to the pressure. So Uncles David, Scott, and Sachin (and Aunt Megan): you have a couple of days to tell me to not to post your pics, otherwise your visages will be out there for the world to see. And given my (doubtlessly) worldwide readership, you should consider whether you are prepared for the onslaught of fame. Give it some thought.

C'mon now!

2004-12-23T17:30:00.000-06:00

MUST my snowsuit have ears??? And what am I supposed to be anyway? A puppy? A forlorn rabbit? A Smurf-bred sheep? Heavy sigh...

Visiting hours

2004-12-21T08:16:00.000-06:00

Except no one is sure which one is in jail...

Christmas shopping

2004-12-19T01:16:00.000-06:00

Holden feels the same way about shopping as I do. Ah, that's my boy!!

"You cannot contain me.

First it's a foot, but give me time and

I will soon break completely free of this hell.

You just wait."

Oh, by the way,

2004-12-16T09:38:00.000-06:00

I HAVE A TOOTH!!

Forgot to mention it. And I'm pretty sure another one is about to tear through my gums (LOVING that, don't ya know...). The truly glorious thing about this development is the fact that now I can REALLY bite my mommy! Oh yeah, good times.

Went to the doctor yesterday for my 9 month check up, and here are my latest stats:

15 pounds, 12 ounces (less than 5th percentile, my status quo, but I've WAY more than TRIPLED my birth weight!)

27 inches (10th percentile)

And, I can't remember the exact measurement, but the official word on the street is that:

I HAVE A GIGANTIC NOGGIN!!! My melon is in the 50th percentile!! Doc says no worries unless it really starts to balloon. Unfortunately, he blew my cover with the 'rents and warned them all about my genius intellect. It's okay, though...a minor blip on the path of my eventual world domination...

Mmmm...pureed peas with oatmeal and breast milk...

2004-12-13T11:12:00.000-06:00

Following in the footsteps of the millions of babies before him, Holden has enthusiastically embraced the thrill of not eating his pureed vegetables

(and can I blame him? I mean really, pureed green beans? Ack.)

However, he will eat just about anything if it is mixed with cereal and breast milk---but only if he can simultaneously wear it.

"Honestly. The things I have to tolerate in this house..."

"Hee hee...pea booger...hee hee hee"

Me and The Demon Spawn

2004-12-11T07:06:00.000-06:00

Mom and Dad call them "demon spawn" or "evil beasts"--

but I think it's really damn cool that they get to just pee on the carpet!

And that barking? Rock and roll! My parents seriously need to just chill out.

Ah, Narcissus...

2004-12-09T19:23:00.000-06:00

Been a bit too distracted to post. What can I say?

Hmmmm...

2004-11-23T10:43:00.000-06:00

Ok, he really MUST be a cute baby.

He's even cute in (#@!* sports paraphenalia!

...freakin' football.....assorted under-my-breath mutterings...

GO CHIEFS!!!

Disclaimer:
A certain attitude expressed in this post does not reflect the attitude and/or the opinions of other members of this household. Thank you.

Many, MANY apologies

2004-11-22T10:28:00.000-06:00

I am loathe to admit my weaknesses, but the truth is that I have been heavily partying and couldn't seem to get to the computer.

Having now completed my 2 week pureed banana fueled bender,
I am back to shizzle your nizzle. Bling.

Chicago summit with my peeps...

2004-11-06T09:31:00.000-06:00

I took to the skies for the first time last weekend. My parents will tell you that the flight was a nightmare, but I personally believe that the entire cabin enjoyed hearing my emphatically screamed views about the impending election. Not sure why mommy kept muttering "we're never doing this again, we're never doing this again" under her breath all weekend. I mean, I thought it was GREAT sleeping every night in mommy or daddy's arms. Shoot, I even let them sit down in hour-long chunks (but not lay down, I mean, c'mon)! What more did they want?

Anyhow, the highlight of my trip had to be finally meeting numerous amigos from the under-10 set. A big shout-out to, in order of appearance in my world: Aaron, Vivienne, Connor, Declan, Alex, Jonathan, Sam B., Ciela, Winston, Zachary, Sam W., and Meaghan. Oh, and it was cool to see the grown-ups too.

Most exciting was a much anticipated meeting of the blogging minds:

Sam B. (Sam's Page) and I Discuss Medicare Reform

Me Fascinated by Ciela

(Life in Omaha...well, ok, that's really her dad)
THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE WORLD SMALLER THAN ME?!??!?!

The Beginnings of My Very Own UN

(Note from the mommy: No comments on the photographic quality.

YOU try to organize a picture of 6 under-2-year-olds. Heavy sigh...)

One more pic, just because my mommy is for some reason really amused that I got stuck in her purse. Hey, whatever it takes to amuse the old broad, right?

Side note: I'M 8 MONTHS OLD TODAY! HOORAY!

A new trick!

2004-11-04T21:31:00.000-06:00

Well, after sitting and crawling for the last month or so, Holden decided it was time to step it up a notch. About a week ago, around 5:30AM, Maneesh came running into our bedroom in shock, panting "OHMYGODHE'SSTANDINGINTHECRIB."
And since then, no (extremely low) surface is safe from an attempted scaling by The Wee Beige One.

"Jeez, Mommy--where are my pants?"

"This is my gym bunny look"

"No, seriously, WHERE ARE MY FREAKIN' PANTS??"

"I may be too little to see over the top of my crib,

but don't think I'm not watching you...heh, heh, heh..."

No cute pictures today.

2004-11-03T17:07:00.000-06:00

Just a moment to reflect on the fact that Holden will spend the next four years in a country led from a place of bigotry, ignorance, and closemindedness. Rather than demonstrate complacency, let me say here in writing that I, and Holden's Daddy, vow to make every effort to get INVOLVED in challenging the right wing machine that runs this state...and seemingly, the rest of the country.

At least Kobach lost. That's something, right?

Happy Halloween!

2004-11-01T21:22:00.000-06:00

What is the matter with these people? Honest to god...

Nice hair Mommy.
And cool spooky eyes.
Is that your costume?

Mmmm...Twix wrapper...now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!
Wait, what? Candy? There's something IN the wrapper???
Ahhh, next year...next year...

Hey, I've been very busy!

2004-10-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

It has been brought to my attention that I have been remiss in my posting obligations. Well, let it be known that this wee beige boy has THINGS TO DO!! Take a look:

In order to take over the world,
I must be well read.

And if people would quit interrupting me, my manifesto would be complete by now!

Now, unrelated to anything other than a glimpse at my sensitive side: take a look at this beautiful sky behind my house today.
Oooh, ahhhhh....

Bathtime!

2004-10-14T20:38:00.000-05:00

Well, these are just friggin' cute and I have nothing else to say about it.*

*except to give a ringing endorsement to this bath chair to any newer moms out there...

Stops on the campaign trail

2004-10-11T13:44:00.000-05:00

To Melinda, Anonymous (unmask yourself, oh Conservative One!), and the rest of the world:

I AM AN OUT-OF-THE-WOMB LIBERAL!

(at least until I hit adolescence and realize that the very best way to

drive my parents completely insane is to become a die hard Republican...)

The fact is, my mom and dad are the kind of obnoxious, will-lecture-if-you're-not-careful, human-rights-loving, war-hating Democrats who are quite literally mortified at the thought of 4 more years of such a right wing administration. My Auntie LL Cool P (LL Cool P: How I'm Comin) and my groovy friend Jerslix (Fiendish Plot) tend to riff on politics I can get down with (as well as miscellaneous angst and wacky happenings). I refer you to their sites for commentary that I believe is less suited to a site that is, let's be honest here, meant for baby pictures with goofy captions.

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I should tell you that I am a little bitter towards politics in general these days. You see, in an attempt to champion the rights of the pre-verbal set, I decided that I should serve my public duty early. A gubernatorial race suited my ambitions quite well, but alas, it was an ill-fated run... I thought my voice would be better heard in a swing state (rather than in the conservative rock I call home), so I focused on Missouri (calling into play a little known statute allowing biracial infants named Holden to call any state home). It was a quite a run, but in the end I lost out to the Republican machine (um, ok, I actually lost in the primary...). I enjoyed the race, however, and my campaign stills were exquisite. They call forth the quiet dignity and reflective concern that I would have brought to the job. Ah well...maybe next year...

Edited to add: Very exciting! An AWESOME relative of mine ("Blogger Hates Me"--not sure if you wanted to be identified...though pretty much anyone in our family will immediately know who you are...hee hee) has added some excellent input to the party. Check it out here (as well as the original comment that prompted this spirited political bonanza)!

Fashion show: 3-6 month clothes, finally!!!

2004-10-05T15:09:00.000-05:00

The Traipsing-Through-the-Wilds-of-Kenya Look

Subcategory: The Mommy-Learn-How-to-Focus-the-Damn-Camera Look

The I'm-an-Academic Look

Note the slight mohawk--it's Holden's rebellion against the

horror of a sweater vest at 7 months old...

HJL: A Retrospective (Special Gnome Installment)

2004-10-04T16:09:00.001-05:00

As many of you know, Holden's growth is measured in garden gnome units (much as the height of race horses is measured in 'hands'). At 2 weeks old, Holden was a mere 2/3 of a gnome. But at almost 7 months, he checks in at: ONE AND A QUARTER GNOMES!!! Keep up the good work, little boy, keep up the good work!

Please oh please don't have your Grammie's music gene...

2004-10-02T14:02:00.000-05:00

Well, taskmasters that Maneesh and I are, we ALREADY have Holden practicing his musical skills.

"Oh man, scales AGAIN???"

Four months old

"Hey! Now THIS piano I can hang with!!!"

Just today (i.e. almost 7 months old)

And look, he's mastered the Art of Sitting!

(Well, unless he leans back too far or finds something really interesting that's not directly in front of him...)

HJL: A Retrospective

2004-10-01T10:49:00.000-05:00

Introducing a new Baby in the Rye feature! Occasionally we will harken back to Holden's humble beginnings so we can see how far he has come!* So today let's remember:

THE DAY HOLDEN WAS BORN!

"Dang Mommy, I'm very very wee! Are you trying to suffocate me???"

"I'm singin' in the rain, just singin'...wait, what? This is a sink? I haven't even opened my eyes, let alone learned to sing or tap a mean beat yet? Ah hell, I'm going back to sleep..."

*Um, ok, yeah, we can see how far he has come. And true, it makes this site more comprehensive for our own nostalgia. But let's be honest--this is a great feature when I just don't get around to posting something else. Shhhh, you didn't read that...

Why sit in something when you can eat it?!?!

2004-09-29T11:42:00.000-05:00

I have learned how to show who is boss to my various accoutrements--I now refuse to use them for any intended purpose. Instead I mock from afar, and then attack when least expected. Mmmmmm...Aquarium Take-Along Swing...mmmmmm

You don't see me...you don't see me...

2004-09-28T10:35:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, mother thinks I ACCIDENTALLY roll under things and get stuck...what she doesn't realize is that I end up under things quite intentionally to get even a moments reprieve from the inane chatter and banal musings that accost my erudite sensibilities...heh, heh, heh...

Hey Sam, I notice your blog is solely your own work. Help a brother out and teach me how to keep my parents from meddling?

Art Appreciation be damned

2004-09-27T14:20:00.000-05:00

Well, we ventured out to the land o' street festivals this weekend, indoctrinating The Wee One with the Plaza Art Fair ("One of the top 5/10/32/whateverthehellnumber art fairs in the state/country/universe!!!" according to, um, someone somewhere...).

We dutifully wandered aisle after aisle of artist booths (why do all art fairs have the requisite Guy Who Makes Baskets and Dude Who Carves Bowls Out of Wood?), but alas, no great piece of art was found for the Leathers/Jhunjhunwala peeps.

Side note: I hate street festivals. No joke. As I've gotten older (if you're older than me, insert your "Older? Ha! I'll show you older!!" comment here), any event that involves large quantities of the general public crammed together, PARTICULARLY if it's hot enough to induce sweat, really just makes me bitchy and disenchanted with the human race. HOWEVER, I found myself thrilled to be surrounded by bad art and sweaty Kansans/Missouri-ans (um, I don't think that's a word)!! Clearly, this is a sign that I've GOT to get out of the house a little bit more...

Ok, this is Holden's blog, and I digress into my own kvetching (Ciela, take heart: even if you DID have your own blog, your parents would bogart it on a regular basis anyway). So let's relish in a bit of Holden photo goodness from our not-so-art-filled day...

Filled with Excited Thoughts of art, Art, ART!!!

"Ok, you people can keep searching the chasms of ugly canvasses, but I'm takin' off...dammit...why are the freakin' pedals so far away??"

"You know what? I'll suffer through as many chintzy landscapes as need be if the result is some kisses from my daddy!!!"

My Crazy Daddy

2004-09-24T18:32:00.000-05:00

This is me with my crazy daddy. He worships me, but he's a little off. Notice, he even tries to dress like me. Sometimes, when I'm wearing nothing but a diaper, he does that too. Someday, I'll post a picture of that!

My daddy thinks he's funny, and he keeps making weird faces and being silly to make me laugh. Sometimes I giggle hoping it will make him stop bothering me so much, but it just encourages him. If anyone has any ideas on how to make him stop, I welcome them. I was hoping that Ciela could tell me what she's doing to make her lunatic daddy stop bothering her, but apparently, he won't even let her have her own blog. He keeps it all to himself (Life in Omaha). What a nut.

I guess my daddy's not too bad. He pays lots of attention to me, buys me toys, and makes me fly like a bird. I could probably do a lot worse.

And now the mother's intro...

2004-09-23T17:14:00.000-05:00

Ok, that's really a picture of Holden for the most part. However, these days my chins overwhelm any commercial camera lens, so it's best just to keep me in the background...

So here we go: a blog. Inspired by Sam's Page (it kinda hurts to look at that kid he's so dang cute), I'm going to attempt to keep family and friends apprised of the Days and Nights of Holden (Molly Dodd reference anyone?) via this nifty "hey aren't we witty???" website! Woo hoo!

The above pic is Holden in his Salute to Labor Day BBQ outfit--taken mere hours before he entered the world of solid foods. CEREAL!!! Awwwwww yeah!!! And one clarification should be made: while he is the Baby in the Rye of this blog's title, he might be more accurately deemed the Baby in the Wheat (Who Prefers the Taste of Barley).

Allow me to introduce myself!

2004-09-23T14:24:00.000-05:00

Hello there! My name is Holden Jhunjhunwala Leathers. I was born on March 6, 2004, and I only weighed 4 lbs 7 ounces! Dang! I'm a little over 13 pounds now, and 6 1/2 months old (forgive my old picture--I was a mere 3 months old there). My parents and I think I'm huge--until we see those mammoth "normal" sized babies, and then we realize that I am, truly, a wee beige boy.

Now, my mom just today got her butt in gear and figured out this whole blog thing (if only she would get her damn fool act together and write thank you notes I would be able to show my face in public...jeez). While I would really like to post regularly in order to control quality on this site (my parents can be truly tasteless if you ask me), it was a real bitch scaling the desk to get to the keyboard (I remind you of my aforementioned wee stature), and I've been hitting the keys with my tongue for about two hours just to write this very message. So, alas, I will be forced to allow my mom and dad primary posting control. But rest assured, this is not the last that you'll hear from me...heh, heh, heh...